The Issue With Living Amongst British Men

It is now almost 10 years ago that I left my home country Germany to live abroad. The “abroad” in the end turned out to be a bunch of islands – namely Great Britain, Ireland and the Isle of Man.

2 of these 9.5 years I was living back in Germany, 5 years in the Isle of Man (still am), 1 year in England, 1.5 years in Ireland.

The Cultural Differences

One of the first times I went back to my home country after having spent a few months in England I already realized a big cultural difference: German women are quite bland.

We like it natural. We don’t care much about make-up, plucking our eye-brows or painting our nails. Clothes should be convenient and efficient. It’s only when you’ve seen a stark contrast that you notice these things. And the stark contrast is British women.

British women look like movie stars on the red carpet all day every day. That’s obviously amazing. I’m baffled, in awe and always wonder how they manage that. How they put in all that time and effort required to do so.

The problem here is though that more often than not it is completely overdone.

Girls look orange from too much fake tan, which bites terribly with the massive rouge cheeks. Fake hair is being clipped on, that awkwardly has to be shifted over the shoulders. Fake eye-lashes and boobs of bestial proportions. Long orange legs in tiny skirts and murderous high heels.

You can see a pattern here: FAKE!

So What IS The Issue With British Men?

Now, the title of this article is “The Issue With Living Amongst British Men” and not “The Issue With Living Amongst British Women“.

During all these years on these islands I was a single woman (with the exception of a short relationship during my time in Germany).

And after being very frustrated about the fact that a decent looking, smart, self-sufficient woman like me is not capable of finding a man and not even dates (see my “(Up)Dating” articles), I have drilled down to the core of the issue: British men! …and I have to use a very brought definition here extending it to also Irish and Manx men.

They are having their heads in the clouds…


They live in a world where women go through enormous lengths to look their best. British guys can not distinguish anymore between real and fake. For them women have orange skin, big voluptuous eye-lashes, big boobs, long legs, long hair, white teeth, long colourful nails and fat eyebrows.

How often have I heard a guy complain about taking home a 10 just to see the next morning after all the fakeness has been exposed or removed, that it was merely a 3?

They whine about it and then do it all over again, incapable of spotting tattooed eye-brows, hair-extensions and whitened teeth.

British men are conditioned to be attracted to this and a woman with very basic or no make-up, her own hair in all places, jeans and t-shirt is simply not being seen. She doesn’t exist!

But with a woman like that you don’t have to take the layers off to see what’s left. What you see is what you get. You’re not being “tricked”. And when a women like that (like me) really wants to play dress-up, we do it and we look great and it’s a special thing.

“She Looks Like A Girl”

When for the last Christmas party I did put the effort in, spent £100 for hair and nails, got my make-up done properly, glued fake eye-lashes on and slipped into a second hand £400-dress, one of my English co-workers splashed out an amazing compliment: “Have you seen Maschmann? She looks like a girl!

So, I know now that THAT’S what it takes to get the attention of British men and I am simply not willing to do it. I will not sacrifice all that time and money. Then I’d rather stay single… 😉

You will need to learn to like me the way I am and enjoy everything else as a bonus.


P.S.: I know this article is full of stereotypes and generalizations, but as my Latin teacher always used to say: “Exceptions prove the rule!” 😉

3 thoughts on “The Issue With Living Amongst British Men

  1. “…and I am simply not willing to do it. I will not sacrifice all that time and money.”
    Genau! … alles andere ist “sich verkaufen”… 😉

  2. Being a British male I must admit you are 95% right… However, we are not all like that… Some of us much more prefer what’s going on in the old noggin than the various shades of orange and angled brow consistency… But… I guess a Bee in a swarm of Wasps is not always easy to see.

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